Patience and Pause: The Power of Timing in Life and Business

One afternoon, I was listening to John Tesh on the radio when a mention of an MIT study about getting a job offer caught my attention. It made me reflect on something that’s been on my mind for quite some time—the delicate art of patience and pause. These two simple concepts—patience in our approach to material possessions, and the strategic pause in our words and actions—are powerful tools, though we often forget their impact in the rush of today’s world.

It wasn’t long ago that I found myself refinishing our kitchen table, eager to complete the project. My instinct was to hurry the process, to “slap on the stain” and move forward. But something within me told me to stop and wait. I called a friend—one who happened to be a master carpenter and furniture restoration expert—and asked for advice. His response was immediate: “Don’t do anything until I get there.” Three days, one additional trip to the hardware store, and the right materials later, the table transformed into a masterpiece. The value of patience—and expert advice—became abundantly clear. Had I rushed through the process, I would’ve been left with something far less than what it had the potential to become. My wife, for one, would’ve had a lot to say had I messed it up. I certainly wouldn’t want to find myself in the doghouse over a stained table! This experience taught me that taking time to do something right is always worth the effort.

In today’s fast-paced world, where speed often takes precedence, it’s easy to overlook the power of a pause. I learned this lesson most vividly in the context of public speaking, something I once dreaded. A few years back, a friend shared a piece of advice that stuck with me: “Just pause when you need to. The words will come. We’re not going anywhere.” It seemed so simple, yet profound. I later applied this advice when I delivered my father’s eulogy, a moment in which emotions and words collided in a way I hadn’t anticipated. My friend’s reminder—“Pause. We can wait. The words will come”—allowed me to take a breath, to collect myself, and to speak with intention. Pausing wasn’t about stalling or losing momentum; it was about giving myself the space to find the right words, to breathe through the moment, and to speak meaningfully. And let’s be honest: it was far easier to pause than to struggle against the lump in my throat. Because, sometimes, words—no matter how well-thought-out—can’t outrun the emotions that come with them.

There was a time, back in 1993, when I learned the value of patience the hard way. I was bound by a non-compete agreement, and for a full year, I clicked off the days on the calendar, one at a time. I kept busy, of course, but that year taught me the true value of persistence and laying the groundwork for the future. In business, we often equate success with speed: the faster we act, the more we accomplish. But sometimes, good things take time. The lesson I learned during that year of waiting has stayed with me to this day, shaping my approach to both my career and personal life.

On a related note, when it comes to texting, we could all stand to be a bit more patient. It’s simple advice—put the phone in the glovebox. Nothing is so urgent that it can’t wait. That brief pause, that moment of restraint, could save your life or someone else’s. Imagine hitting the brakes instead of texting while driving. It’s a small but important pause that could make the difference between sending a message or sending a thank-you note to the paramedics.

But of course, patience and pause aren’t always the right approach. There are times when action is required. Take golf, for example. In a game where time often stretches unnecessarily, it’s crucial to avoid overthinking. The putt, the swing, the shot—they must come quickly, with confidence. If you linger too long, you risk missing the mark. Life, much like golf, demands that we act decisively and without hesitation. If you spend too much time overthinking your putt, you might miss out on the true enjoyment—the camaraderie, the conversation at the 19th hole. That’s where the real prize lies.

This brings me back to the MIT study John Tesh referenced—specifically, how to handle job negotiations. When facing a job offer, patience and pause can often make all the difference. Imagine you’re sitting face-to-face with a hiring manager, awaiting the offer. You’re eager to take the job, but the offer may not quite meet your expectations. This is where the pause comes in. Look the person in the eye, let the silence hang for a moment. Research has shown that just a brief ten-second pause—just enough time for the other person to reconsider—can often result in a higher offer. It’s a simple, almost imperceptible moment, but its impact can be profound. That moment of silence is powerful, allowing both parties the time to think before rushing into a response. Sometimes, all it takes is the right timing to shift the course of the conversation.

In my experience, whether I’m refinishing a table, delivering a eulogy, or negotiating a deal, I’ve come to understand that patience and pause are more than just practical tools—they’re philosophies that can transform outcomes. Waiting, taking the time to reflect, and allowing space for thoughtful action are principles that can lead to better results, both in business and life.

But timing is everything. There’s also wisdom in knowing when to speed things up, to keep things moving. Whether it’s in golf, career decisions, or personal interactions, knowing when to take action and when to pause is the key. It’s about striking the balance between waiting for the right moment and seizing it when it comes.

So, as we continue our work, whether it’s sealing a business deal or making a life change, let’s remember that good things take time—but so do great decisions. Knowing when to pause, when to act, and when to let the moment come to you is how we make our most thoughtful moves. Because, at the end of the day, it’s not just about what we do, but when we do it.