Takers Finish Second

Life, I’ve decided, resembles an endless dinner party where the cosmic waiter drops the bill and studies the table to see who blinks first. In that moment we reveal ourselves. Most of us fall into one of three camps:

1. The Reachers – wallets out before the ink on the subtotal is dry. They shoulder the cost and walk away with dessert, goodwill, and future invitations.
2. The Alligator-Arms Crew – suddenly their limbs are too short to reach the check, just like the GEICO reptile. They finish—at best—second.
3. The Stealth Benefactors – the Harvey-MacKay disciples who arrive early, slip the server a credit card, and let everyone else discover the bill is already paid. That textbook move from Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive buys near-mythic status—and, quite possibly, a minor feast day in the group chat.

Four decades of business lunches, friendship dues, and parental negotiations have confirmed the pattern: givers keep winning, takers keep explaining, and stealth buyers are quietly canonized by everyone they treat.

Personal Lessons from givers and takers

A recent conversation with a friend sent me back to a spring break in Florida with my youngest daughter, Haylee. I handed her spending money at Charming Charlie’s, expecting a couple of souvenirs. She returned with a bag overflowing with trinkets—for her friends. That ten-year-old act of unprompted generosity reminded me that real giving expects nothing in return.

• Stronger academic performance
• Healthier relationships and habits
• Greater career success

The takeaway isn’t destiny; it’s discipline. Delayed gratification can be practiced and learned, just like generosity.

The Alligator-Arms Test (and Other Dinner-Table Shenanigans)

We’ve all witnessed the modern marshmallow test in the wild—usually around a restaurant table:

• GEICO’s “alligator arms” commercial nails it: the reptile’s limbs are conveniently too short to grasp the check.
• Then there’s the friend who always “needs the restroom” the moment the server arrives with the bill, returning just in time to thank the group for covering them.

Humor aside, those dinner-table dodge moves reveal more than penny-pinching habits; they spotlight a mindset. Givers see the tab as a chance to invest in camaraderie. Takers see it as a cost to be avoided.

A Quick Self-Check

Have I given more than I’ve taken? I ask myself that often, and I invite you to do the same. Scorekeepers—people who remember exactly who bought lunch last time—rarely create lasting value. Those who give freely, who appreciate instead of expect, enrich every room they enter.

If you don’t like your position, one small act—an unsolicited thank-you note, a quiet favor, or picking up the tab without fanfare—can start nudging the needle.

Whether you’re structuring a partnership, nurturing a friendship, or coaching your kids, the give-and-take dynamic defines the culture you create. It’s not about tallying credits and debits; it’s about building relationships strong enough to thrive when times get lean.

So pause and ask yourself: Have I given more than I’ve taken? If not, what’s one practical way to flip that equation today? Feel free to share your thoughts—or just borrow mine and move on.

I’ll owe you one.

• 
  

---

---

Over the years my partners and I were involved in some remarkable companies, some falter, while others meet with tremendous success.  The Autonomic Resources adventure was one of our most audacious pursuits, and I am proud to have been a part of it.  Here is a little backstory from my partner Tony’s blog http://tonywalkerpost.com/2015/02/21/now-that-was-a-ride/

For the first three years, I was little more than an idle observer of our FedCloud initiative; but, for the past 16 months, I have been working directly with Tom Thomson and John Keese to bring our FedCloud adventure to fruition.  It was a high risk venture [certainly higher than we ever anticipated], and it was wrought with tension throughout the journey [somewhere between white water rafting and waterboarding].  Fortunately, this past Thursday, we were able to complete the sale of Autonomic Resources [after nearly three months of a roller coaster ride of negotiations and due diligence].

Although the sale of Autonomic Resources’ remarkable FedRAMP ATO’s might put our FedDROP start-up in limbo, I couldn’t be happier for the entire Autonomic Resources family, especially the crew at our headquarters in North Carolina.  And I am particularly proud to have been in the trenches with Tom and John seeing this thing through to such a successful conclusion.

A special round of thanks needs to go out to Butch, Kerry, Mike, Lynn, Geno, and the Pfalzgraf team for bringing this one home.  And an ever bigger thanks to Joe Kreuz, who got all these partnerships started over 20 years ago.

When I look at our lineup of IT partnerships today, especially Capax Global, CBX, and AP Phoenix [which just had it biggest month ever in January], I can’t help but be excited about what the future has in store. Tony Ragusa

Interviewing and Tips: Standing Out in the Modern Job Market

Years ago, during her interview, we asked our first employee in Rochester what she was most proud of. Whether it was a childhood accomplishment or a recent achievement, we encouraged her to share anything meaningful. She struggled at first, but then remembered her perfect attendance in high school and her four-year record of never missing a day of work in college.

Interestingly, none of this was on her resume. But for us, it was everything. Can you imagine an employee with that level of dependability? We could—and we hired her on the spot. She turned out to be exactly what we expected: dependable, reliable, and exceptional.

Fast forward to today, and it’s clear that the job market has evolved significantly since I first penned this advice in 2009. Back then, concepts like Big Data, cloud computing, and Artificial Intelligence (AI) were only beginning to shape the workforce. Today, they dominate. It’s time to update timeless interview strategies with a modern twist to help job seekers excel in today’s competitive environment.

---

Timeless Advice with a Modern Perspective

Every year, I meet a diverse group of college graduates eager to launch their careers. Whether their degrees are in HR, IT, or another field, they all face the same challenge: standing out in a sea of resumes and acing their interviews.

For many, unless they’ve pursued a “learned profession” like law, medicine, or engineering, their resumes risk blending in. Today’s job market demands a unique narrative—one that combines traditional wisdom with modern insights.

---

Crafting Your Unique Narrative

Start with Reflection
Begin with a blank page and ask yourself:

• Who am I?
• How did I become the person I am today?
• Who do I want to be?
• What is my roadmap to get there?

Draw from Life Experiences
Reflect on your upbringing, education, and decisions. How did your parents influence you? Why did you choose your schools? How have these experiences shaped your journey?

Prepare for the Interview
Your resume is a snapshot, but your interview is where your story comes to life. Make it count by emphasizing:

• Moments of Happiness: Highlight when you felt most fulfilled.
• Notable Achievements: Bring these to life, showcasing the skills and effort behind them.
• Significant Positive Decisions: Share how these choices have shaped your path.
• Common Ground: Find connections with the interviewer—shared colleges, interests, or experiences—to build rapport.

---

Modern Insights for Today’s Job Market

Leverage Technology

• Maintain an updated LinkedIn profile that highlights your achievements, skills, and endorsements.
• Use quantifiable metrics in your resume to show measurable impact.

Optimize for Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS)

• Customize your resume for each job using keywords relevant to the role.

Embrace Remote Work Skills

• Showcase adaptability and independence in remote work settings.

Highlight Soft Skills

• Communication, teamwork, and problem-solving are as critical as technical expertise.

Demonstrate Lifelong Learning

• Highlight ongoing education, certifications, or skills development.

Showcase Diversity and Inclusion Efforts

• If applicable, mention involvement in DEI initiatives, as they’re highly valued in today’s workplace.

Follow Up Thoughtfully

• Send a handwritten thank-you note or personalized LinkedIn connection request to leave a lasting impression.

---

Strategic Use of Keywords

Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) are now integral to recruitment. To ensure your resume makes it past initial screenings, include relevant keywords for your field, such as:

General Keywords:

• Leadership, problem-solving, teamwork, adaptability, innovation, project management.

IT and Tech Keywords:

• Cybersecurity, AI, data science, DevOps, cloud computing, Agile methodology.

Marketing Keywords:

• SEO, social media marketing, analytics, content management systems.

Finance Keywords:

• Financial analysis, risk management, budgeting, CPA, corporate finance.

HR Keywords:

• Talent acquisition, diversity and inclusion, employee relations, HR analytics.

---

The Value of Patience and Preparation

While technology has revolutionized job searching, the core principles of patience and preparation remain constant. Take time to craft your narrative, align it with modern tools, and remember that small details—like a thoughtful follow-up or a personalized approach—can set you apart.

As the workforce continues to evolve, driven by the departure of Baby Boomers and the rise of AI and robotics, the demand for innovative and adaptable talent grows. By blending timeless advice with modern strategies, you’ll not only navigate today’s job market but thrive within it.

Differentiating Yourself in a Crowded Job Market

Every year, I meet an array of college graduates with freshly minted degrees spanning fields from HR to IT and everything in between. Their biggest challenge? Standing out in a crowded job market and acing the interview process.

Unless you’ve chosen a well-defined career path—like becoming a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or accountant—your resume risks blending into the sea of sameness. Over the past two decades, I’ve helped thousands of college grads navigate this transition, and I’ve learned what makes a real difference.

Making Your Resume Stand Out

In any given year, thousands of college graduates enter the workforce. Most resumes follow the same cookie-cutter formula—one page, structured neatly, but often devoid of personality or individuality. This approach might land you a few interviews, but to truly shine, your resume should reflect who you are.

Here’s how to begin:

1. Start with a blank sheet of paper. Write down your thoughts on:
   • Who you are.
   • How you became the person you are today.
   • Who you want to be.
   • How you plan to get there.
2. Reflect on your upbringing.
   • How did your parents influence you?
   • What choices in high school and college shaped your path?
   • Why did you choose the schools you attended?

By the time you reach the interview stage, this exercise will have set you apart from others who rely solely on generic templates.

Navigating the Interview

During the interview, weave the following three elements into the conversation:

1. When you were happiest.
   • There’s no need to discuss when you were sad—no one wants to work with someone who dwells on negativity. Focus on the moments that brought you genuine joy and fulfillment.
2. Your most notable achievement.
   • Highlight this both on your resume and during the interview. Use the opportunity to bring the experience to life and showcase your capabilities.
3. The biggest positive decision you’ve ever made.
   • Share how this decision impacted your life and what it taught you. This is your chance to emphasize your ability to meet challenges and succeed, not to recount problems you’ve faced.

The Intangibles Matter

Years ago, I asked our first employee in Rochester to share something she was most proud of—whether it was from third grade or yesterday. She initially froze, but after some thought, she recalled winning a perfect attendance award in high school and another from her college employer for never missing work in four years.

None of this was on her resume. But to us, her dependability was priceless. She was hired on the spot and became a dependable, reliable, and dedicated employee—exactly what we hoped for.

A Story of Dependability

Recently, a friend asked me to advise his daughter, who had spent a year networking and interviewing without any job offers. He described her as his most dependable child, but she was frustrated with the process.

When I asked her if she was dependable, she hesitated before saying yes. I encouraged her to highlight this quality during interviews—the intangible traits that can’t always be captured on paper. A week later, she landed a great job, and two years on, her employer still praises her dependability.

The Final Touch: A Handwritten Thank-You Note

Final Advice: Send a Handwritten Thank You
Think of it as the final touch in Golf, where a good swing (or handshake) is important, but it’s the thoughtful follow-up—whether through a thank-you note or a follow-up email—that seals the deal.

After the interview, don’t forget the thank-you note. Skip the email; a handwritten note, sent the same day with a real stamp, will make a lasting impression. You know, the kind of impression that says, “I’m serious, but I also appreciate the human touch!” And maybe, just maybe, season it with a little beef—because as we saw in that classic cartoon, sometimes it’s not just about what’s on your resume; it’s about what you add to the flavor of the conversation. “Yours is a most impressive résumé, and you’ve scented it with beef.”